Save Me
by AwesomePanda24
Summary: "He looked at me. Someone actually NOTICED me, and at that moment, I felt wanted for the first time in my life. I felt like I needed to live." Highschool AU. PruCan! Canada's more on the suicidal side, so for "gore," this is rated T. I try to update soon as possible. But be reminded I have two other stories I have to update along with school. Yay honors classes...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Please…be nice. I've done this before, so I used my own experiences for Canada's feelings during it…future chapters will contain it too…this is my first PruCan…thank you for reading.**

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Death is the gate that never closes. It's an opportunity that awaits everyone in this pitiful world. Most people don't want to die. They're too happy or cowardly to face death. Some choose death early. They see it as a golden ticket to get out of their hell of a life. Then, there are people like me, who are having a war of attrition with death. They do something that society seems to view as worse than suicide…

As the jagged blade dug into my left wrist near fragile veins, I felt a cold surge run through my body. Blood oozed out like a slow volcano, changing from blood to red when oxygen reached it. I moved the knife and began to carve in a crescent pattern on a blank spot.

It felt good, but at the same time, it felt bad. I knew I was hurting myself and draining my body of its strength. It seemed like something of equivalent exchange. I was making my body hurt instead of my mind, but my mind hurt at the same time.

I had lost track of how many times I had done this. It was over fifteen for sure. The first time I had done it, it brought great pain to me. But after a couple times, it became a usual form of pain release. It felt like a blissful paradise that I never wanted to leave.

But, once I heard a knock on my door, I knew that my plane was boarding, and I couldn't miss it.

"Matthew!" my older brother, Alfred, exclaimed with great volume. He claims it's his actual voice, but I think he yells on purpose for attention. "Let's go!"

"Coming!" I replied with my usually faint voice, hoping he heard me.

Once I heard his footsteps marching away, I put the knife in a Nike shoe box, pushing it back underneath my bed. I looked at my bleeding wrist before wrapping gauze around it and pulling a red sweatshirt on over it. If it did bleed through, nobody could notice.

I grabbed my backpack from beside my door and walked out the door with my brother. He smiled at me brightly. For some insane reason, it seemed to drive girls crazy. That and the fact he was quarterback of the football team, homecoming king two years in a row, and student council president crafted the idea that they had to be pathetically in love with him.

"What took you so long?" Alfred asked, referring to this morning. "You were in your room for, like, ever! You didn't even get to eat breakfast!"

"I was finishing the English homework," I lied quickly, making Alfred blink in confusion. I thought I was a goner before he said,

"We had English homework?"

I was happy my brother wasn't smart.

We reached the high school eventually and walked inside. The football team immediately surrounded Alfred like a pack of hungry piranhas. They slapped him on the back, congratulating him for winning last night's game.

Then, like that, I was invisible to the rest of the world. Not literally, but it felt like I was. I walked to my locker, avoiding the people that were walking right into me, and pushing me aside as if I was scrap paper on a busy desk.

I reached my locker, grabbed my books, and ventured on to English. I was shoved into the wall by a boy at least five inches taller than me. His silver head turned around and I looked into his ruby eyes. He smirked and laughed something that sounded like "Kesesesese!"

"Better watch where you're going, loser!" he teased, running to the back of the classroom. I recognized him as Gilbert Beilschmidt; one of the biggest flirts in the school.

My legs became numb and I froze like the arctic tundra. My heart was racing at one-hundred miles per hour. I just couldn't believe it. He noticed me. But my face was also very heated, like a furnace...what was this feeling?

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**A/N: Was that good? Please leave a review…this took me a while to write…future chapters will hopefully be longer…? Monthly updates, if not sooner.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for reading. Please, I would like constructive criticism to see what I need to improve on, or your opinion on the story.**

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With my face a deep red pigment, I took a seat in the back of the class. My heart was still pounding from our encounter,

Gilbert Beilschmidt. Running back, flirty, handsome; and girl's dream boy. But he had never talked to me before- nobody had. So is that why I felt this way? My stomach felt light and my body was heated because he was this first to talk to me since I was a child? Yeah, that had to be it.

"Is there a 'Matthew Williams' in here?" the teacher asked, looking to the class.

I raised my hand, quite used to the question. Every teacher asked this at least twice a week. She pursed her lips like Effie Trinket and pointed to the hallway,

"Don't think you were in my class before, you must be new. Anyways, I want you to go out there and tutor Gilbert."

Quickly, I ran out to avoid the flush on my face becoming any darker. I had to _tutor_ him?! Maybe I could make him a friend…he did notice me, after all. No, that would not happen. He is too cool to be my friend.

"Un-awesome teacher," Gilbert muttered, joining me in the hall. His ruby eyes met mine very slowly. I felt my heart skip a beat as we sat on the floor against the lockers.

"I don't need tutoring," he stated proudly. "I'm too awesome."

"L-Let's just g-get this over w-with," I stuttered, opening the textbook.

He must've noticed my nervousness, because he punched my arms playfully (though it still hurt) and smirked.

"You're not falling for me, are you?" he questioned.

I swear my face had never been redder. The bell mysteriously ran early and we both stood up. He patted my back, smiling at me.

"See you tomorrow, okay?" he said, running off into the crowd.

I tilted my head, pondering his question. I knew he was kidding, but was I really falling for him?

Before I could respond to myself, I was elbowed in my stomach and sent to the ground. Painfully, I looked up to see who it was. A purple aura surrounded Ivan as he smiled.

"Watch where you stand. Next time, I'll use my scarf to choke you, you piece of trash."

I went through the rest of the day in sorrow. Sure, I'd been pushed down a lot, but name-calling really hurt.

As Alfred and I walked home, my wrists began to sting, wanting attention. _Cruelty_, they seemed to speak. _You're treated with cruelty. Let us feel your pain. Let us take it away._

I shoved them into my sweatshirt pocket and ran home. Alfred called after me, but I ignored him, knowing he'd meet up with a friend soon enough. I got into the house, grabbed a bottle of pure alcohol, a towel, and a roll of gauze. I locked the bedroom door behind me, threw the stuff on my bed, and took the knife from its hiding place.

I put the towel into my mouth and grabbed the knife, pulling my sleeves down. I slowly un-wrapped them, giving my wrists time to breath for a while.

The blade took a quick swipe at my left wrist with joy. It seeped deeply and dangerously close to my veins. I shivered as they barely touched each other, sending a shock wave up my body.

After several more cuts, I snatched the bottle, unscrewed the cap, and poured the substance into my self-inflicted wounds.

Biting down on the towel in my mouth, I resisted the urge to scream. Tears fell down my cheeks rapidly. The pain made my body cringe and twitch in an unusual manner. I wanted to be a rose in the winter; wither and come back in a new life.

_God, _I thought, setting the bottle down. _Damn, this hurts! Stupid Ivan…stupid, stupid, Ivan._

After several minutes, the pain decreased, and I was able to move my arm again to reach the gauze. I shook my head, letting the towel fall out of my mouth. I took large breaths while wrapping myself up and disposing of the old ones.

The front door opened. I cursed and shoved everything under my bed.

My fingers curled around the doorknob, ready to greet Alfred, when I heard someone say,

"My place is more awesome!"

My fingers became shaky as I immediately recognized that voice. It was Gilbert.


	3. Sowwy

**Hello, my fellow Fanfictioners! I am here to inform you that I may be closing this story. Completely.**

** What with my school work and other two stories, I am afraid I will not be able to update this story as frequently as I want to. I am very sorry. **

** BUT (Heehee I said "But" :3) I will propose a deal. If I can get 10 more reviews (FROM DIFFERENT PEOPLE, NOT JUST ONE PERSON REVIEWING T10 TIMES) by Monday, I will continue this story.**

** Sound like a good deal? If you think so, review. But tell me what you think of the story in the review too, and a good explanation of why I should keep it.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Well, due to the unanimous vote, I suppose I shall be continuing this story! I didn't know so many people liked it O-O But, here you go! Please leave a review with CONSTRUCTIVE criticism! **

My hand fell from the knob at the sound of his voice. Gilbert Beilschmidt was in my house. GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT WAS IN MY HOUSE. I knew that he and Alfred were friends, but he had never been over before!

I looked down to my wrists. They stilled burned intensely, and I wasn't sure if I should have gone out there or not. Even if he wasn't a complete genius, Gilbert was smarter than Alfred was, and he would notice that I was in pain.

"Hey, Matt!" Alfred called from outside my door. "Why don't you come out and talk to Gilbert? We're going to play some MAJOR Call of Duty! I got to make a run to McDonald's first though!"

So, as my brother wished, I opened the door and met Gilbert in the living room. He was sitting on the couch, holding a controller as the PS3 came on. Alfred pat me on the back, laughing.

"You'll be fine with him, right?" he asked. "Gilbert won't bite! He's a pretty cool-"

"AWESOME!" Gilbert corrected, smirking over his shoulder.

"-Awesome dude. I'll be back later!"

With that, America ran out the door. I stood there awkwardly, watching Gilbert set up a game on Black Ops. He turned around and looked at me.

"Want to play with the awesome me?" he questioned. Just the sound of his voice made a shade a pink dust my cheeks and immediately agree with whatever he said. I sat next to him, grabbing a controller. He made us play in some place called "Nuketown."

"You've played before, right?" Gilbert asked, running toward a yellow house on the game.

"Of c-course!" I lied, trying to press the controls without showing any weakness. My wrists still hurt extremely badly, and I must have had some pretty painful expressions shower my face, because Gilbert paused the game and looked at me.

"You okay, Matthew?" he asked with a hint of worry in his tone. The sound of his name rolling off his tongue sent a chilled vibration through my body, kind of like after you throw up.

"Yes!" I replied, setting the controller to the side. "I'm just very…tired. My eyes burn and it's hard to concentrate on the screen!"

Gilbert raised an eyebrow suspiciously, but sighed and turned off the PS3. He stretched his arms out, leaning back.

"I wanted to thank you," he said, blushing slightly. Wait- blushing slightly? Gilbert neverblushed! And there he was, sitting right in front of me, on my couch, with a red face. It was hard to get the words to come out of my mouth at the sight.

"For w-what?" I inquired, shifting my position and resting my hands on my lap.

"For tutoring me," he stated, looking away. "I also wanted to tell you that I saw Ivan push you down in the hall…"

There it was again; that screeching pain in my wrists. I hated Ivan. He pushed me down, called me names, and my wrists were the ones that seemed to hate him most. They began to shake heavily, and Gilbert sat up quickly.

"What's wrong?!" he gasped, seeing the rapid movement of my wrists. I bit my tongue, trying not to scream out, and gripped the couch. That was a wrong move. It applied dangerous pressure to my wrist, and I had to let out a little yelp and jump up.

"Matthew, what is wrong?" Gilbert repeated, glaring at me. "You look like you're hurt!"

I hid my hands behind my back and forced a smile onto my face.

"I'm fine!" I reassured. "I'm just…going to take a nap!"

I took off to my room, slamming the door behind me. I un-wrapped the covering on my wrists, sighing as the pressure was relieved. I looked at the cuts, frowning to see that they were still bleeding rapidly. A tear left my eyes, streaming down my cheek as my bedroom door slammed open, and I heard someone say,

"What the hell?"

**A/N: Who could it be~? Find out in the next chapter! I love you people! Leave a review!**


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: **_**Hello, my lovelies. I am so very sorry that I have not been able to update this story. I've got so much school stuff going on and we're moving…there's just a lot. But here's this chapter. Sorry if it isn't that good, I'm not a very good writer and I suck at romance…THIS IS NOW 3****RD**** PERSON POV!**

"What the hell?" Alfred gasped, mixed with emotions of anger and confusion.

Matthew was completely speechless. He had no idea how to react to this at all. Never once did he plan on someone finding him doing this, let alone his idiot brother.

"Mattie…"he whispered, falling to his knees and deciding to drown in sorrow rather than fury. "Why…why would you do something so stupid like this…?"

Matthew looked away, not able to face his own kin, and ran toward the window. He snatched his sweatshirt, pulled it on, opened the window, and jumped.

"MATTHEW!" Alfred shouted as he landed on the dry grass. "COME BACK!"

Matthew just kept running. He ran and ran until his calves were freaking out like caged animals that were released by a careless child. Then, he stopped in an alley and collapsed into tears. His face was a messy waterfall, and he looked to the grey sky. Alfred would probably look at him in disgust now, he thought. Or maybe Alfred would be like the others and not even see him.

"I doubt anyone would even notice if I left the planet," he muttered.

"I would," a voice stated when a shadow suddenly lingered over him. He looked up through wet eyes to see Gilbert. The sight of the boy made Matthew cry even more for some reason.

"Don't cry," he whispered, lightly wiping away the tears with his thumb. "I don't know what happened…Alfred told me to help look for you. He said you just jumped out of the window…I got extremely worried."

Matthew blushed and hid his wrists behind his back. The sudden movement made him cringe slightly, but Gilbert didn't seem to notice.

"W-Why would you be worried?" he asked, sniffing some snot back up into his nostril. Gilbert blinked for a moment and then laughed. Yes, he _laughed _at Matthew. Matthew didn't know if it really was at him or with him, but nobody had ever laughed at something he said. It made him feel…happier, especially considering the fact that it came out of Gilbert's mouth.

"Because I like you!" Gilbert stated as a rosy tint crept onto his cheeks. Matthew tilted his head.

"Y-You like me? I t-thought you were f-friends with A-Alfred only…"

Gilbert kissed Matthew's cheek. It was very tender, and almost…loving.

"I don't like you as a friend…I want you as my awesome boyfriend…"


	6. Chapter 6

Matthew blinked several times, running the words Gilbert had just said through his mind several times. _Awesome boyfriend…boyfriend…BOYFRIEND?!_

"You want me to be your boyfriend?" Matthew asked sheepishly, looking in any direction but Gilbert's.

"Of course!" Gilbert replied, tilting Matthew's chin up with a single finger so they were forced to make eye contact.

"W-Why me?" Matthew questioned. "You could have anybody you want…"

"Because," Gilbert sighed, moving his finger and letting Matthew's head fall, "you're not just anybody. You're somebody. Somebody…who makes me smile, who I _want_ to see smile all the time. It kind of pisses me off that nobody in school notices you. I want to get you noticed! So everybody has to know that you're AWESOME!"

Matthew didn't know what to be more shocked about; the love confession, or the fact that Gilbert just called someone else other than himself "awesome."

"But, not as awesome as me, of course!"

The love confession, apparently. Matthew wiped snot away with his sweatshirt jacket.

"I-I…I guess I'll be your boyfriend…I mean, I don't really know how to be one! So I might fail…"

Gilbert grabbed Matthew's hand and pulled him up, smirking.

"Just be yourself! Then nothing can get in your way! Except for me. I'm allowed."

Matthew felt a stinging sensation on his wrists, but ignored it. As long as Gilbert didn't find out about his cuts, he was fine.

**A/N: I'm so sorry I have no idea what I'm doing with this story and this chapter's very crappy and I'm so so so so sorry for it and rambling like an idiot! I'm so sorry!**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Listen….**_

I'm extremely sorry that I haven't been able to update lately. I haven't forgotten about these stories, there's just a lot going on in my life…a lot of negative things. But you guys probably don't even care; you just want to read, right?

I just don't feel able to write with all this pressure…I was hoping you could understand this dilemma. My soul isn't really into the writing every time I try to conjure a new chapter, and I despise the feeling. It's an empty feeling…and I hate it.

Again, I haven't forgotten about any of my stories, just…between worrying about school, looking for a job (which really isn't too easy for a 15-year-old), having arguments at one parent's house that make me burst into tears, and adjusting to a new house with the other parent, I've been very negative and depressed.

So, I thank you for understanding, and I'll update as soon as I lift my spirit back up!


	8. IMPORTANT FREAKING NOTICE!

**So…hey.**

**It's been a little while, my dear friends, but rest assured; I'M BACK BABY~! At least for now. I promise you updates within the next two weeks :3**

**Also, I've decided that everyone who reviews/ follows my stories shall be called "pandas!" So, if you review or follow, then you are a part of the AwesomePanda24 Club. 'Cause you're just so special to me!  
A lot's been going on lately, but I SWEAR I shall update these stories. I was also thinking of doing a Doctor Who (2005 Edition) crossover with Hetalia or Death Note…maybe even Soul Eater! What do you guys think?**

**Anyway, since you probably don't care and didn't read this far, THANK YOU FOR BEING SO PATIENT! I love you, my pandas, and hopefully this will be the last little author note chapter for a very long time.**

**ARE YOU EXCITED? YEAAAAAAAAH!**

**I LOVE YOU ALL GO EAT CUPCAKES AND BE HAPPY.**

**From AwesomePanda24, with love :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: It's finally here! Aren't you all so proud of me, my little pandas? Leave a review, please! Oh! Also, I want you to go and read RudelyItalian's story "Game Gone Wrong." It's just starting out and SO good!**

About two months had passed since Matthew and Gilbert made their relationship public, and three since the relationship formed. Many people in the school thought the couple was adorable, and the chemistry between them was fizzing over! Of course, there were a select few that could not approve of this transition, such as one Hungarian transfer student.

Elizaveta Hedervary had fallen head-over-hears for Gilbert Beilschmidt the day she came to the school. She secretly followed him, and even got chances to talk to him from time to time. The news of their being-together broke Elizaveta's heart. She had never heard of this "Matthew" before. It was her that was very popular, and everybody was saying she and Gilbert should be together.

Now, as she trudged through the bustling halls, Elizaveta realized that _she_ was now the nobody of the school. It made her blister with all the strength of a raging fire. She was at the top, and this…_Matthew _(his name made her mouth a sour lemon) had brought her down. Something had to be done…

"Kesesesese!" Gilbert laughed, looking at the test on Matthew's desk. "Of course my little birdy got a perfect score!"

Matthew blushed visibly and a small smile formed on his face as Gilbert slung his arm around his shoulders.

"W-What did y-you get?" the Canadian asked. Gilbert looked away and shivered.

"…I'd rather not talk about it," he whimpered.

"Matthew!" a voice whispered loudly from across the room. He looked in the direction of the call, and saw Alfred. His brother made a circle with his hand and stuck out one finger on the other, then began to make a very…awkward motion with them while wiggling his eyebrows.

Matthew's face turned tomato red and he hid it in Gilbert's chest. The Prussian blinked and looked over to Alfred, who still made the motions.

"Your brother seems to want us to have some fun, little birdy~" Gilbert laughed, embracing Matthew. "How about tonight, you come over to my house-"

"G-Gil!" Matthew shrieked, clutching the albino's black T-shirt. Yet another laughed erupted from Gilbert as the lunch bell rang.

The happy couple walked out of the classroom. Matthew gasped.

"I left my lunch in my l-locker," he remembered. "I-I'll meet you in the cafeteria."

Gilbert kissed Matthew's forehead lightly and nodded, walking in that direction with Antonio and Francis. Matthew smiled and began to go to his locker. He couldn't believe someone like himself had a boyfriend like Gilbert. Matthew hadn't even cut since they got together…everyone began to notice him, and it made him extremely happy.

"Matthew," a voice beckoned by the bathrooms. He blinked and slowly approached them.

"H-Hello?" he asked cautiously, only to have his arm be yanked into the girl's restroom.

A girl pinned him against the wall, a knife at his neck. Only her curvy silhouette was visible. Matthew didn't budge, in fear of who this was, and what they wanted.

"You listen and you listen closely," the voice hissed. "Break up with Gilbert, or I'll be breaking YOU. Never talk to him again. Hear me?"

"Y-Yes!" Matthew replied, shocked, as he was thrown out into the hallway.

Break up with Gilbert? Matthew couldn't imagine living without Gilbert! He's the one that saved Matthew from rising to the heavens; the one who made Matthew positive, and more outgoing; THE one for Matthew.

But either break up with Gilbert or…something worse would happen. Matthew knew what he had to do.

Elizaveta chuckled from the bathroom stall.

"Perfect…absolutely perfect. Gilbert Beilschmidt, you are on the way of being mine and mine alone~"

**A/N: Bad, Eliza, bad!**


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